I despise not having a plan for what I’m doing with my life after I graduate. I am seriously kicking myself for ever trying Psychology as a major and it destroying my GPA.
You guys are going to have to bear with me or stop reading my blog if these mental-crises posts get on your nerves.
I’ve been patrolling job sites like a hawk over the past few weeks just because I like to see what’s out there and what my options are going to be. Two words I constantly run across: EXPERIENCE REQUIRED and then it goes on to list anywhere from 2-15 years experience. So wait, you mean to tell me that I could’ve been out there getting experience instead of wasting my life in college. Ok, I know that’s not the case but that’s what it seems like.
How am I supposed to get a job if I don’t have experience? And how am I supposed to get experience if I don’t have a job? What a vicious, vicious circle.
The director of the department I’m interning for casually said to me today that they are hiring for the Social Media Coordinator (basically the postion I’m semi-filling right now). I told her I graduate in May and then she laughed and said “too bad the timing isn’t better…but we are hiring someone with 1 year experience anyways.”
Ok…I get it. I mean I obviously couldn’t apply for the job and honestly, I don’t want it. But, it was still a slap in the face even if it wasn’t meant to be. I think I just had this vision of my internship playing into a job offer–one which I would turn down. But it would still be a compliment to be asked. I know you might think, “a job is a job!” However, a job is not just a job for me. As you know, I don’t want to stay here in Savannah. I am so ready to leave this place and go somewhere new. Being tied down here for another year is seriously one of my worst nightmares come true. The thought of leaving Savannah is one of the driving forces behind me pushing myself to do good in school and dabble in as many things as possible before I leave. I also had to remind myself that it wouldn’t be fair for me to take a job like this that I would only be available for a year. I’m taking one year off to build up my resume, take the GRE, and get my ass into grad school.
This is leaving me with a whole year. ONE whole year to find something that will look good to graduate schools and semi-mask my GPA.
There are quite a few things I’ve considered or would like to have happen during this next year…
- paid internship
- move to NY and rent a room at my uncle’s creamery
- join the Peace Corps
- an actual job (not retail)
- LEAVE SAVANNAH
I just don’t know how to get to where I want to go. I need money. I need a job. And I want out of GA.
On top of all of this, I don’t think I’ve really mentioned my most recent plan for grad school. Maybe I have…I don’t feel like going through my past posts. I want to attend grad school in England. I never got to do study abroad during undergrad and I feel like living there and going to school there would be so amazing. I loved the culture, people, and legit fish and chips when I was there. I feel like it’s a whole new world waiting for me to discover.
I guess I’ve been regarding graduation as my open door. You know..the one that is in your dreams surrounded by swirling, fluffy clouds with golden light pouring through the cracks? Yeah, that door. On the other side, my door has a huge Union Jack billowing in the wind.
When I went to England, I fell in love with it and became obsessed. I still am to an extent. It’s the one that got away so to speak. Or more of, I was 15 years old and had to come back after a week’s trip. Either way, I want it back. I want NEW. I want new people, new places, new experiences, and I want out. I’ve never really viewed it as a grass-is-greener scenario even though it very well could be. There have always been two havens in my life as places I regard as lovely and nothing bad happening–Syracuse and England. But of course bad things do happen. I’ve changed that approach over the years and now have on my big-girl pants and know how to mentally handle things.
I know where ever I go, there is going to be disappointment and heartbreak. But there’s also going to be excitement, achievement, and love.
It’s a combination of attitude, location, and people. Surround yourself with people you want to be with and a place that makes you happy and things will fall into place.
I never let myself fall in love with Savannah. From day 1, I never wanted to be here but I was too scared to get out because I was comfortable with what was familiar. Pursuing the unfamiliar is such a daunting task but I want to do it now. I’m not the same person I was when I first came to Armstrong and I’m not the same person I was in January 2013.
I have dreams and I don’t want to be the only person standing in my way when it comes to achieving them.